Saturday, February 23

Goal Setting: When It's Okay to Say No

It's that time of year when we're setting goals or more likely, starting to lose our resolve. So, let me share this story with you. I was in a "Professional Skills" class and we were talking about goal setting. The guest speaker asked for a volunteer. A classmate was chosen and walked to the front of the room. 
via weheartit

Step 1: Identify the Goal. The speaker asked him what his goal was. He answered, to be more fit. It's a pretty standard goal for all of us.

Step 2: Major Obstacles. After stating the goal out loud for all of us to hear, the speaker asked him what was in the way of accomplishing that goal. This particular student's reasons included a lack of time due to school and familial commitments, playing video games as well as laziness. More often than not, it's not the fact that the goal itself is too difficult to reach, but that there are so many things standing in its way. One third of the battle is to acknowledge and remove the obstacles. 

Step 3: Identify the Plan of Action. The speaker asked the student how he planned on achieving his goal, what he defined as more fit. The student replied that if he could work out for thirty minutes at the gym, five times a week, he would be satisfied with himself. 

The issue here is that there's only 24 hours in a day. We have jobs, spouses, children and school. It's not possible to achieve all that we want within the confines of time. This is when the speaker asked the student what he could do differently. Would he be willing to sacrifice a bit of video game time to work out? The student replied yes. Would he be willing to sacrifice a bit of family time? Or allow his grades to suffer a little? The student was more hesitant about that. 

That's when the speaker said something that really resonated with me. If there are certain things you're not willing to sacrifice, then it's okay. Your priorities don't have to match anyone else's. Accomplishing your goals is supposed to make you happy, not miserable. Stopping isn't failure, but sacrificing things you treasure, is. 

50 comments:

  1. Yes, that's the big challenge is "what gives" - typically we don't want to give on anything but we do want to have it all

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  2. great post and blog!would you like to follow each other?

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  3. I really loved this post. A few weeks ago I had a couple of classes on a course I'm doing and they were about business and life coaching. We were told to fill a 'priorities wheel' in order to see what we felt we were giving enough time, too much time or not enough time. This wasn't the only thing we did, but it was the one that stuck the most in my mind because I realised I've been prioritising things that may not be as important to me as I used to think. I would to have a life coach for a few sessions to help me realise a few more things. I think this is great. Knowing what you want in life is half the battle, right?

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    1. We did something similar where we rated, on a wheel, how happy we were about different parts of ourselves. The lesson here was that we needed a smooth circular wheel and could not have any spikes or indents.

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  4. *I would love to have a life coach...

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  5. What a perfect reminder to all of us that it's ok to say no. I definitely needed this!

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  6. Awesome tips, darling!
    Hakuna Matata!

    xoxox,
    CC

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  7. great post - and just at the right time of year as we all start to think back to the beginning of the year with all our ambitious resolutions! :) Thanks for the tips :)

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  8. Really cool post. All is to truth. Thanks for this.

    xoxo

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  9. This was a really inspirational post. I was just thinking about goal-setting today. :)

    --SSDS

    P.S., To answer your question about sponsoring, I found the easiest way to do it is through passionfruitads.com. The process doesn't take that long, and it's free. The hardest part for me was deciding what size ads I wanted people to submit. The instructions on the website are pretty straight forward, but let me know if you need any help! :)

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  10. Aw thank you so much for sharing this, Aki! This made my day <3

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  11. great food for thought...Thanks Aki :D

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  12. Yeah, I totally know what you mean! Working, being a student, and blogger all at once is hard. Setting up the ads is a pretty quick process and the website allows you to do it in chunks, but having time to sit down and do it all at once is nice.

    P.S., I graduate later this year! :)

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  13. Thanks for this reminder Aki, I actually agree with what you say though many people maybe still dont realize it, prefering goals and sacrificing what love. there is no success without the thing/people make you happy. Happy Sunday! xo

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  14. Great advice! More peoples should read this.

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  15. thnx for your lovely comment! great advices!

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  16. This is wonderful!
    www.rsrue.blogspot.com
    Come say hi!
    :)

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  17. Great thought!! And yes, I think YOLO is overused!:-) Hope you are having a wonderful day!
    -Jyoti
    Style Delights Blog

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  18. beautiful thoughts! I hate the word YOLO, Stop by won't you!,

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  19. These are some great tips. I especially like the part where we plan for the major obstacles.

    Jessica @ Sunny Days and Starry Nights

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  20. These are some great tips because setting goals while it sounds easy isn't really the case.

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  21. That's really awesome advice. I suffered from too many yes's when I was younger, especially saying yes to people who were supposed to be my friends. They just couldn't take "no" for an answer. Eventually I had to let them go - best decision I've ever made. I guess toxic friends were worth the sacrifice for me.

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    1. I have a similar problem of trying to continue being friends with people who are not interested in being friends with me.

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  22. Yes, loved reading this! And such a great quote as well.

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  23. ohhh i love this!! such an awesome message!! argh my goals this year are to spend less and to lose more weight.. and it's so haaaaaaaaaaaaaaard hahaha! this message is sort of freeing hahaha :p

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  24. What wonderful advice - especially that last quote from the speaker. So true. :)

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  25. Hi sweety, this is exactly the type of post I needed to read on a Monday morning, thanks for the motivation, I loved the last paragraph of excellent advice, its something I need to remember.

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  26. As I said in the review, I didn't understand she was a call girl from the first watch. I saw that something was unusual with her job but, I think I was still to young to get the insinuations. But I definitely recommend the movie, you'll be charmed ;)
    Interesting post. This kind of classes are really useful, sadly I can't attend any in my school :( Everything that teacher is true, but I strongly believe that as long you don't stop it's ok even when you fail. And the picture fits perfect! xD

    Have a nice week,
    allthatglittersnotgold.blogspot.com

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    1. I would have never attended a class like this by myself but it was mandatory this time!

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  27. i have trouble saying no to things! i want to do everything! haha

    xx.M
    www.bellesandrebelles.blogspot.com

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  28. great post
    http://loving-evelyn.blogspot.ro

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  29. thx for comment ;) would you like to follow each other? ;)

    http://charmeusee.blogspot.com

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  30. "Stop saying YOLO" HAHAHAHAHA that's precious. Definitely struggling still over what things to sacrifice in order to get stuff done. The goal is happiness! HAPPINESS! :)
    ♥ laura
    the blog of worldly delights
    the shop of worldly delights

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  31. an inspiration. surely yolo would be out of mind


    carissa
    http://flightvintage.blogspot.com

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  32. lovely post. i agree with ur thoughts.

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  33. YOLO annoys the bejesus out of me. Cannot stand it. But I gotta say I love Hakuna Matata!

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  34. Heyyy, thanks for visiting my blog and the comment :)

    I think it's still not too late to recap your mother tongue if you really want it :) i actually gave up learning chinese for quite a time until I picked it up again many years later! friends you can talk to in your mother tongue can help a lot too!

    xx, Connie
    CheeryLili | Cheerfully Inspired.

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  35. awesome aki! he brought up some really good points. hahaha we all have priorities. thanks for sharing this.
    http://www.averysweetblog.com/

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  36. I think this is so true especially since we all have different priorities.

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  37. I am so that guy in your class - want to be more fit but I'm full of excuses! If I combined all that time I spent snacking and instead worked out - yeah ...

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  38. I love that- his points are really great. There are some things I won't sacrifice and as I get older I'm learning to be OK with that.
    :)
    Allison

    A's Fashion Files
    Shop Kawaii Kitsch by A on Etsy, and get free domestic shipping with code FREESHIP

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  39. Lots to think about - the lecturer made a very wise point!

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  40. Thanks for your opinions on my Oscar post :)

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  41. The speaker was clearly very smart, this is certainly a lot to reflect on. Thank you for sharing (and I love the photo at the top)!
    Thanks for visiting Infinite Style!

    xoxo
    Juliette Laura
    juliettelaura.blogspot.com

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  42. Definitely something important to keep in mind. I know I tend to get down on myself when I don't get *everything* done.

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  43. Great post! We all need a reminder at times that it is okay to say no.

    Shia
    World According to Shia

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  44. What a cute motto :) Great steps to goal setting :)

    katattack2000.wordpress.com

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Thanks for your comments!