You're getting everything you wanted!
Someone said this to me when I left my last company in January. I had wanted a new job working fewer hours, and she was congratulating me on that. I also mentioned that I was going to get a dog, which was something else that I've wanted forever and brought up in every other conversation.
When she said this, I was taken aback. What did she mean by "You're getting everything that you wanted"? Excuse me? I worked hard for my new job! I had to apply, interview, make a difficult decision. Even before the application process, I worked on making sure I was getting the right experiences at work for years, fixed up my resume and had to weed out the jobs that really suited me. I had to deal with negative reactions from people in my company who didn't appreciate me moving on. Honestly, same thing for the dog! I applied to so many shelters looking for a good fit. There were so many applications where the dog had already been adopted. I was anxious about making the right decision and reinforcing my resolve to train and take care of a dog properly.
I didn't just "get" everything that I wanted all of a sudden. I worked for it. And I'm continuing to work for it by learning new things in my current job and taking care of an aggressive dog. I thought about this sentence for a long long time, even though she probably didn't mean anything by it. But then, I can also reframe the narrative, right? I determined what I wanted, I created a plan to help me get there, I executed... and I succeeded. Along every step, there were challenges, and the direction I moved in wasn't always forward. But nonetheless... I've been able to change my life. This isn't the first time this has happened either.
Before I moved to Seattle, I wanted a life that wasn't Phoenix. I wanted to live in a city of my own choosing.
Before I moved to West Seattle, I wanted to live in a neighborhood with art shops and sushi restaurants within walking distance. To get to where I am now, I formulated a plan, worked hard... and achieved my goals.
So, perhaps rather than being upset that I wasn't recognized for the work I put in to get to where I am now, I should have responded...
When she said this, I was taken aback. What did she mean by "You're getting everything that you wanted"? Excuse me? I worked hard for my new job! I had to apply, interview, make a difficult decision. Even before the application process, I worked on making sure I was getting the right experiences at work for years, fixed up my resume and had to weed out the jobs that really suited me. I had to deal with negative reactions from people in my company who didn't appreciate me moving on. Honestly, same thing for the dog! I applied to so many shelters looking for a good fit. There were so many applications where the dog had already been adopted. I was anxious about making the right decision and reinforcing my resolve to train and take care of a dog properly.
I didn't just "get" everything that I wanted all of a sudden. I worked for it. And I'm continuing to work for it by learning new things in my current job and taking care of an aggressive dog. I thought about this sentence for a long long time, even though she probably didn't mean anything by it. But then, I can also reframe the narrative, right? I determined what I wanted, I created a plan to help me get there, I executed... and I succeeded. Along every step, there were challenges, and the direction I moved in wasn't always forward. But nonetheless... I've been able to change my life. This isn't the first time this has happened either.
Before I moved to Seattle, I wanted a life that wasn't Phoenix. I wanted to live in a city of my own choosing.
Before I moved to West Seattle, I wanted to live in a neighborhood with art shops and sushi restaurants within walking distance. To get to where I am now, I formulated a plan, worked hard... and achieved my goals.
So, perhaps rather than being upset that I wasn't recognized for the work I put in to get to where I am now, I should have responded...
"You're getting everything you wanted!"
"Yes, and here's what I see for myself in the future. "
3 comments
It definitely takes a lot of hard work to get where you want to be. If only things came to us that easily where we don't need to lift a finger right?!!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! I can relate to this. It took me so long and so much hard work to get where I am now. Does anyone appreciate it? Very few. But I've struggled through and I am now getting almost everything I wanted.
ReplyDeleteThe perspective that you bring is very interesting. To you, you worked hard behind the scenes and had to deal with certain events to get to where you're at. To others, they just see the end result. I've felt the same in the past, only where things turned out due to events that pushed me down that road.
ReplyDeleteNancy ♥ exquisitely.me
Thanks for your comments!